Why Everyone Seems Happier Than You
Hi friends,
I frequently think about happiness and its complexities. Whenever I feel dissatisfied, I remind myself of two fundamental happiness principles. Today, I'll share these insights with you. Before we dive in, keep in mind that simplicity is key to happiness.
Have you ever felt like everyone around you is happier? They seem more fulfilled and content than you? In our hyper-connected world, it’s easy to fall into this trap. Social media, cultural pressures, and our own perceptions often contribute to this illusion.
The Highlight Reel Effect
Think of social media as a highlight reel. Social media showcases the best moments of people's lives. It's like how sports highlights show the best moments of a game. You see the fancy holidays, the personal milestones, and the good times. You may have even come across the word “instagrammable”. It's often used to market quirky cafes, fancy restaurants, and flashy experiences. How f*cked is that? We live in an age where people, including me, get their dopamine from showing off their "flawless" lives on social media. But, I’m getting better at beating this craving and seeing past the superficiality.
Rarely do we see the struggles, the failures, and the mundane daily routines. Comparing your whole life to someone else’s highlight reel sets you up for disappointment and feeling inadequate. This will make you feel unhappy.
Humans are naturally inclined to compare themselves to others. This social comparison can be motivating, but it can also be damaging. When we see others as happier, we might devalue our own experiences and achievements. Instead of celebrating our own progress, we focus on what we lack compared to others. This mindset is counterproductive and can lead to dissatisfaction.
Happiness As A Destination
We live in a culture that glorifies happiness. From TV and social ads to movies, we are bombarded with images of what a “happy” life looks like. We are told in ads that wearing a certain fragrance, owning a fast car, or going on all-inclusive holidays will make us happy. The underlying message is clear: material possessions and lavish experiences are the keys to a fulfilled life. That’s a lie. In movies, the “happily ever after” narrative is a well-trodden and almost expected outcome. It might be the happy end of a romantic comedy or the heroic success of an action film. But, the idea of happiness as a destination becomes a goal. That’s another lie.
This pervasive narrative seeps into our subconscious, shaping our expectations and desires. We start to believe that happiness is a destination rather than a journey, something to be attained and maintained without interruption. We then chase this destination. This sets us up for disappointment when our everyday experiences fall short of these super high standards.
This constant exposure creates an unrealistic standard that we feel compelled to meet. When we fall short, it can lead to a feeling of failure and unhappiness. Remember, happiness is not a constant state but a series of fleeting moments. It’s okay not to be happy all the time. That’s real life.
Strategies to Counteract the Illusion
- Mindful Social Media Use: Limit your time on social media and be selective about the accounts you follow. Engage with content that inspires and uplifts. Avoid overly filtered content that makes you feel inadequate. Every week, I offload at least one social media app and moderate my consumption.
- Focus on Your Journey: Everyone’s path is different. Instead of comparing your life to others, focus on your personal growth and achievements. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they might seem. I make an active effort to remind myself that I am on my own journey, taking life at my own pace and trying to enjoy the small (and big) wins.
- Cultivate Gratitude: Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Regularly acknowledging that you have things in your life others dream about is a humbling feeling. I have a whiteboard in my office, usually for brainstorming but in one corner, I jot down something I’m grateful for that day. It keeps me grounded, particularly on crap days.
I’ll Leave You With This
Navigating through the illusion that everyone is happier than you requires a mindful approach. You can shift your focus away from this by understanding the factors that add to it. Then, use strategies to fight it. This will help you see a more fulfilling view of happiness. Remember, happiness is what you make of it. It’s not a destination. It comes and goes. That’s life.
Recommendation 👀
This week, I highly recommend the Modern Wisdom podcast by Chris Williamson.
It’s one of the most high-value I listen to almost every week. Whether you’re looking for insightful discussions on self-improvement, fascinating interviews with thought leaders, or practical advice on a wide range of topics, Modern Wisdom has it all. Each episode offers a perfect balance of optimism, realism, and evidence-based insights. I always come away having learned something new, making it a staple in my podcast rotation.
Quote 🧠
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." — Steve Jobs
As always be safe, and be happy.
Take care - Yath 🤟🏾
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